The Alot -- A Beast of Mythic Fame

No Blogspot, this is not a typo. I know a lot is not one word... I distinctly remember banging my head against the table while grading 7th, 9th, and 10th grade papers. "Why is it so difficult?" I would groan, circling yet another miserable alot in yet another miserable essay.

Enter Hyperbole and a Half. This blog traipsed into my life with a solution that was so entertaining,  true, and obvious that I wondered where it had been all my life.

The beautiful and brilliant and talented and GENIUS blogger (no, I don't know this person. No, she did not pay me to write this. Yes, she is that awesome) over at Hyperbole and a Half introduced me to the ALOT. Here is a picture she drew of the Alot:

This image was drawn by Allie Brosh. Click here to visit her blog.

I taught my kids about the Alot monster and they stopped using alot and started using a lot overnight. Every once in a while one or two kids would revert back, but I like to think it was on purpose now and not because they didn't know any better.

I hope I've intrigued you. If so, click here to read about this wondrous creature and put some socks on because you're about to laugh them off. And I don't want to know what would happen if you started laughing your socks off and DIDN'T HAVE ANY SOCKS ON!

Also a word to the lazy reader, who just can't seem to drag that little mouse arrow over to the link and click on it...because then you'd have to wait for a page to load and you don't have the time, and who knows what it might do to your internet tabs (I know; I've been there - will it open a new tab or navigate away from this page? What if it isn't funny? Why didn't this person just paste the whole story here so I don't have to click on links all the time?). But I must insist. You must go learn about the ways of the Alot. You will thank me in the comments if you do.

Also please share with all your teacher friends. It will save their forehead from a perpetual bruise.

Would you like a cocktail to go with your literature?

A friend bought this book for me as a thank you for watching her dog and I just had to share this. It is both amusing and instructive, while simultaneously answering two questions:

What cocktail should I make? 

and 

What book should I read?

And let's face it: haven't we all struggled with both of those questions from time to time? In case you couldn't tell by the title, this book is a recipe book for cocktails, but each cocktail is named after famous novels (mostly literary, but there are a few popular fiction titles mixed in).

The book is the perfect size to stash on the top of your bar, has lovely vintage illustrations, and includes drinking games both for when you are alone: "Slam a Red Bull every time you turn the page in Wuthering Heights. Just to stay awake, actually" (Federle 134) and with friends: "Smuggle booze into a library. Pull book titles out of the card catalog at random, playing 'Never have I ever' with the classics - 'Never have I ever read The Great Gatsby,' etc... All who have read the book in question must take a swig from the bottle. Scholars get smashed" (Federle 135).

I am not going to give away all of the wonderful and hilarious delights of this book, mainly because I don't want to infringe on copyright and I also might buy this book for everyone I know for Christmas. But if you want more, here is a link to amazon for you, where you too can purchase and enjoy this treasure.

I will leave with a parting gift: a list of my favorite cocktails from the book (based on their name, anyway, I just got it yesterday so I haven't made them all yet).

5. Lord Pimm

4. Are you there God? It's me, Margarita

3. Rye and Prejudice

2. Paradise Sauced

1. A Cocktail of Two Cities

Enjoy!