I recently read a nonfiction book of the stunt genre variety (where an author tries something out, usually for a specific period of time, and then writes about the experience).
I did not like the book.
I felt bad, because the reason I did not like the book was because I didn’t like the author. I felt terribly guilty about this, for some reason. Here I was, reading the inner musings and confessions of another human being and it made me not like her as a person. That’s a low blow.
I couldn’t even write a review on Goodreads, explaining why I gave it one star, because my reason would have been: I don’t like the author as a person. I imagined what I would feel like if I was an author and I sat down and read a Goodreads review where someone judged not my book, but me as a person. So I kept my thoughts to myself and didn’t write the review.
A few weeks later a good friend of mine gave me her manuscript to read. I was incredibly honored. As I finished the last page and was putting it carefully back into its box, I thought about how difficult it must be as a writer to go from writing as a private activity to a public activity. The best writing is deeply personal in some way, even if it’s fiction, even if the story is about a pink rhinoceros who wants to become the world’s greatest trumpet player, buried deep under all those layers of story is the mind who created it and underneath that are all those experiences that shaped that mind.
On his blog, Storyline, Donald Miller discusses how writers should be vulnerable in their writing. He says, “Even if you’re writing fiction, you should feel like you’re telling secrets. And they should be deep, dark secrets you’d only tell your most trusted friend. Remember, when we write we are becoming the temporal companion of the reader, and if we want them to trust us, we have to give up our secrets.”
Even if we don’t take Donald Miller’s advice and we aren’t trying to be vulnerable in our writing, some vulnerability is inevitable. We may reveal ourselves in the smallest phrase, a minor character, an inconsequential plot point. And we lay bare for every reader a part of ourselves.
This would be fine if every reader was your best friend and loved you unconditionally. But that’s not the reality that any published writer faces. They spend months, years, pouring themselves into their work, which is then shared with masses of strangers who take it, judge it, assess it casually, and make a detached decision about it.
I personally have always been of the “keep it secret, keep it safe,” variety when it comes to writing (I say, on my very public blog). To be honest I’m a little overwhelmed now that I know a few people are actually reading my blog. Before, I had a blog, but no one read it, so it felt very safe. It was just an online notebook. I felt like I was sharing, but I wasn’t actually risking anything. So this blog is an unusual experiment (not of the stunt genre variety) for me as I learn what it is like to have someone other than a professor read something that I’ve written.
I don’t think that everyone must share their writing or that only good writers should share their writing; I believe it’s a personal choice and there are a lot of things to take into account when you decide if you will write only for yourself, for your family and friends, or if you will share it with the world.
That said, I also think there is something decidedly scary about taking action of any kind. When we are passive, it is much easier. We can blame bad things that happen on other people, the universe, God. When we take action, we are taking responsibility for our lives. We are taking great risk. What if we regret X? We won’t be able to take X back. What if we were happier before X? Then we will wish we hadn’t done X and it will be all our fault.
For me, sharing my writing is taking a great big risk; maybe no one will like it, or I will discover that I am a terrible writer, or my pride will get wounded, I’ll offend someone with my ideas, or worse yet people will actually learn what my ideas are and I won’t be able to hide anymore.
These are all great reasons to delete my blog and go back to typing up very long and secret Word documents that no one will ever see.
But great events might transpire because I shared my writing. Or small events that are wonderful, events I would otherwise have missed.
So I’m taking the risk because by not sharing, while I am not rocking the boat, I am not even on the boat. I’m safe on the good ol’ boring metaphorical shore, waving while others embark on adventures. By sharing my writing, I’m cutting loose the rather cliche anchor and I’m off on an adventure (the size of which is still yet to be determined, but it’s an adventure nonetheless), leaving the harbor, and traveling through uncharted waters.
I will let you know in a few months if it was worth it. I suspect it will be. Meanwhile, I will be kind when I read and will do my best to refrain from writing that review on Goodreads...
What writing risks have you taken? I'd love to hear about them! Share in the comments below.
I saw this somewhere once, and it made me think of many aspects in life, "Real intimacy requires risk — the risk of disapproval, of heartache, of being thought a fool."
ReplyDeleteThe 'ol, "Nothing ventured; nothing gained" comes to mind too.
After reading TWILIGHT, I had an idea for a novel and wrote the first seven chapters. It's still sitting in a drawer buried where no one will see it. A long time later I had an idea for a different book and wrote a long outline, which is buried in the computer. I'm okay with that for now, as I'm really not a writer. It was fun when I wrote them, and maybe someday I'll toy with them some more. But I'm in no hurry. We all have different ways we open ourselves up to risk--mine tends to be when I open my mouth. My foot usually ends up in it. ;)
It's fun having stories that are in progress, isn't it? It's like having a secret that no one else knows about. When I did Nanowrimo this year, I was so reluctant to tell anyone what I was writing about, because it changes the second you share it with someone else. It's not your secret anymore and it loses some of its magic. Stephen King actually said (and I'm going to give a horrible paraphrase here, but it was in his book On Writing) that you shouldn't tell anyone what you are writing about, or talk about it until you are done with your first draft. Then people can read it. For him, an important part of the writing process was keeping it secret.
ReplyDeleteI've also heard that one of the most important things about writing is doing it for yourself, and that seems to be true. Twilight is a great example of how important that is, actually, since, as I'm sure you know, there were many people who did not like that book. So you can't make everyone happy. In which case, you might as well make yourself happy by writing what you want to write!